Why Twentysomethings Hate 50 Shades of Grey

Twentysomethings hate fifty shades of grey—and, by that, I mean uncertainty. I know this because I spend most of my days talking with people in their 20s about things that aren’t black and white. Is my career choice right? Is my boyfriend going to break up with me? Should I move to Boston or Austin? Knowing something about the twentysomething braintells us what twentysomethings can—and can’t—do about living in the grey.

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Close the Urban Dictionary FTW

Okay, twentysomethings. What no one is telling you is that they cringe when you say “like” and “you know” and “lates” for later and “word” for agree. I know what you’re thinking: “My friends don’t cringe. They talk that way too.”

In my last post, I discussed why huddling together with like-minded peers limits who and what you know. Now, I want to explain why it limits how you speak and think as well.

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The Urban Tribe Is Overrated

For the past decade or so, there has been much talk about the urban tribe, or the makeshift family that has come to the fore as twentysomethings spend more years on their own. Sitcoms and movies tout the value of the tribe and, without a doubt, these friends play a crucial, supportive role. Essentially the college buddies of the twentysomething years, the urban tribe gives us rides to the airport and we vent about bad dates and breakups over burritos and beer.

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Just Say No to Facebook Social Comparisons!

As a therapist who works primarily with people in their 20s and 30s, I often feel like a priest who hears Facebook confessions.  Over the past few years, my office has become a place where day after day one twentysomething after another drops onto the couch and groans “According to Facebook, I’m the only person not saving orphans after graduation” or “I feel pretty good about my career until I look on Facebook and see what everybody else is doing” or “Every time somebody changes their relationship status on Facebook, Ipanic” or “I’m convinced Facebook was invented to make single people feel bad about their lives.”

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