The Defining Decade

The Defining Decade has changed the way millions of twentysomethings think about their twenties—and themselves. Revised and reissued for a new generation, let it change how you think about you and yours.

Our “thirty-is-the-new-twenty” culture tells us the twentysomething years don’t matter. Some say they are an extended adolescence. Others call them an emerging adulthood. In The Defining Decade, Meg Jay argues that twentysomethings have been caught in a swirl of hype and misunderstanding, much of which has trivialized the most transformative time of our lives.

Drawing from more than two decades of work with thousands of clients and students, Jay weaves the latest science of the twentysomething years with behind-closed-doors stories from twentysomethings themselves. The result is a provocative read that provides the tools necessary to take the most of your twenties, and shows us how work, relationships, personality, identity and even the brain can change more during this decade than at any other time in adulthood—if we use the time well.

Also included in this updated edition:

  • Up-to-date research on work, love, the brain, friendship, technology and fertility
  • What a decade of device use has taught us about looking at friends—and looking for love—online
  • 29 conversations to have with your partner—or to keep in mind as you search for one
  • A social experiment in which “digital natives” go without their phones
  • A Reader’s Guide for book clubs, classrooms or further self-reflection

The Defining Decade has sold more than 500,000 copies in all formats and has been translated into more than a dozen languages. The related TED talk — “Why 30 Is Not the New 20” — has been viewed more than 10 million times.

Praise

“I’m beginning to side with Meg Jay who argued that telling people ’30 is the new 20’ is completely counterproductive.” —David Brooks, columnist at the New York Times

“Excellently written, this book is sensitive to the emotional life of twentysomethings.”―Library Journal

“The professional and personal angst of directionless twentysomethings is given a voice and some sober counsel in this engaging guide. While Jay maintains that facing difficulties in one’s 20s ‘is a jarring–but efficient and often necessary–way to grow,’ the author is sincere and sympathetic, making this well-researched mix of generational sociology, psychotherapy, career counseling, and relationship advice a practical treatise for a much-maligned demographic.”
―Publishers Weekly

“A clinical psychologist issues a four-alarm call for the 50 million twentysomethings in America…..”
―Kirkus Reviews

“Any recent college grad mired in a quarter-life crisis or merely dazed by the freedom of post-collegiate existence should consider it required reading.”
―Slate

“Meg Jay takes the specific complaints of twentysomething life and puts them to diagnostic use.”
―The New Yorker